Rhythm in the air

Yubak Malla

DEC 26, TKP

Like on many other nights, Tapan woke time and again to check his mobile to see whether there was any new message in his inbox.

For the last month or so, Tapan, the late sleeper and late riser, has been waking up early in the morning, and finding himself forced to acknowledge the suspicious glances of his sisters and brothers regarding his newly developed habit—taking an early morning walk, something he had always found boring.

Grumpy as he has always been, Tapan has now started smiling at everyone he meets; without any specific reason. Though he still keeps to himself most of the time, he is happy and walks around humming softly. Through his eyes, life at this point looks bright everywhere.

Tapan first saw Monika some six months ago at his office library, where he had been casually reading a newspaper. He was immediately drawn to her by her smartness, wit and intelligence. For a girl of her age, Monika looked mature and seemed understanding. She was conversant on politics and current affairs, unlike many young girls; she had an opinion on almost everything. Tapan continued to listen to what she had to share in the library whilst turning the pages of the newspaper. When he asked his colleague if he knew the new girl, Tapan came to learn that Monika had joined the office only two days ago as a junior officer in the accounts section.

He saw her in the library, in the same conversant spirit yet another time. Tapan liked everything about Monika—her face, personality, attitude, humility and her caring nature. Her sense of fashion, however, confused him. For a Kathmandu girl, Monika was not that fashionable. He thought that the way she dressed, therefore was more out of personal choice rather than unfamiliarity with the current fashion-trends.

Despite the embarrassment one has to face for showing a liking to a junior staff, Tapan approached Monika with a phone call, but without luck. It was “one of the most embarrassing days of (his) life”, as he later posted on Facebook. After a few days, despite the prevailing awkwardness, Tapan sent her a message, again. Things, however, did not work out positively, and he had no other choice than to lose hope.

Three months later, however, Tapan received a text message from Monika. He was pleasantly surprised, but he did not want to rush ahead with

things, so he decided to take things slow. For the next several days, he only text-messaged her, though he really wanted to speak to her over phone.

As a person in love normally does, Tapan had several mood swings. His days of acute frustration and extreme happiness had begun. But he mostly remained happy. His next Facebook state of mind read: My happiness sees no boundary.

Commenting on his status, Dhiraj, one of his close friends, asked Tapan to stay away from emotional attachment. Dhiraj did not want to see Tapan lovelorn and asked him to mentally prepare himself for physical proximity with the “new girl”. Dhiraj believed getting physical early on in the relationship would hinder emotional attachment and erase the possibility of getting hurt. Loving wholeheartedly, for Dhiraj, was the most foolish thing one could ever do. Tapan never agreed with his friend because he knew that Dhiraj too, was like him, a hardcore romantic on the inside. What he put out for the rest of the world was only a façade.

Tapan had already begun feeling like he was in heaven; his friend’s suggestion meant nothing to him.

He continued dreaming of Monika, even painting a beautiful picture of their future together. He was very content by the thought of spending his life with her.

Though Tapan had always been reserved, never sharing matters of the heart with his siblings, he now felt like telling them the story of his love with Monika. He wanted to tell the whole world that he loved her; he was thankful to God for bestowing upon him with this beautiful feeling.

“I like a witty girl with a beautiful heart.” Tapan used to joke, to which, Monika would give a submissive answer, “Oh really, how do you know that I’m like that?”

The flow of text messages between Tapan and Monika had increased significantly— they used to text each other at night. Tapan had become crazy about Monika, he was certain she was his life.

Tapan was delirious with excitement and at times even made foolish demands and acted stupidly. Once, because he had acted very unreasonably, he had had to spend hours waiting for Monika at Kathmandu Durbar Square. He had become so frustrated that he had to while away his time drinking beer at a nearby restaurant.

Monika showed up soon enough and the two went to a concert. Although Tapan wanted to hide the fact that he had drunk beer from her, he finally asked her, “Do I smell of...? I just took a small drink when you didn’t turn up this afternoon. I want you to know that I drink and smoke, but I don’t eat meat. I’m a vegetarian,” Tapan said it in a single breath in an almost apologetic tone. Shell-shocked, Monika showed her unhappiness with a foreboding silence. For Tapan, her silence meant that she cared for him and he felt happy about it.

One evening, Tapan messaged, “Shall we go for a concert tomorrow at Patan Durbar Square?” As he pressed the send button on his mobile, he smiled for tomorrow’s big day. He thought of how he’d take Monika to a restaurant to celebrate his birthday with her, a day he had never before shared with anyone else, and was looking forward to expressing his feelings for her.

Tapan was wondering if this was going to be a restless night. He was engrossed in the thought of meeting Monika the next day. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was already 10 pm, but his cell phone did not buzz, neither did he receive any call. Tapan got restless; he wrote her another message and asked if everything was all right. Her response suggested that she was in deep trouble that night. As somebody who deeply loved her, Tapan immediately sent her another message. He wanted to find out why she was in such distress.

A message that crashed his beautiful world of dreams soon read from his mobile phone screen. “Frankly speaking, I do have someone special in my life, and I want him to come along for tomorrow’s concert but he says he won’t be able to find the time.”